Dream check

 

 

No progress today. Well, maybe not no progress, but only a little compared to the last two days. I'll be real I haven't been really feeling anything lately, and no not in the depressed/need help sort of way. I've never thought of myself as depressed before, but recently I have this mental shift compared to last month where as I don't get excited or worried about anything. I'm just kind of going through the flow and taking it by stride, my brain is in a "don't care" sort of state right now, weird. I felt like it happened really suddenly.

But trust me I am doing good, just upset with myself for not focusing on my art more recently. Basically I'm just being undisciplined and lazy right now compared to the rest of the year. I'll tell myself that this is all part of the journey to becoming the artist I want to be, and maybe that thought alone will give me the motivation to discipline myself tomorrow, as it is too late for today. The problem is that I think that a lot people think just that, and end up lowering the bar for themself to compensate, so instead I'll double down tomorrow.

Whenever I don't feel like doing something, usually related to me progressing in my art, I say to myself, "If I cannot do X by Y, I will not become an artist". It's kinda like that meme where kids think to themselves if they don't past the leaf before it falls they will die, basically same thing. Now this might come off edgy or extreme to some people, but I say too bad because I have never once in my life failed what I call a dream check, I always follow up out of fear of losing that check.

The second half of this uhh... "essay", will be on tomorrow's post.