I've been passing out way earlier than I usually fall asleep so that is the reason for my absence. I've been doing a lot of physical work lately, well it's mainly just working out a lot, but I also went fishing with my dad recently. I was walking through a lake wearing one of those heavy fishing waders while my dad taught me the ropes of fly fishing. Spent half the time learning how to whip the fishing line back and forth getting control over it, way harder than those spin fishing rods. I spent the other day doing roughly that for 7 hours and it was a workout on its own. Needless to say my body is now in recovery mode.
Also, regarding my head and hair drawings, I've think I've gotten much better recently. Let's pretend the eyebrows are more than 2 strokes.
The second coming has arrived, as the prophecy foretold.
Hey guys, it's me again, thought I left you hanging huh? Well I don't blame you (cause I kinda did), this was the longest no-post streak I went on, but I can assure you it was only a matter of time when I was coming back, not if. I couldn't let the blog die after it came so far, but in my eyes I had some major rethinking to do for next year coming up, because I haven't finished my goal I set out to do.
This blog wasn't intended to end after a year and I know that I didn't "really" complete the sketch-a-day challenge. So if I haven't confirmed it yet, this blog will still continue on the blog's anniversary January 1st.
Anyways, getting that out of the way, what have I been up to? This may come as a surprise but I have actually been drawing a lot recently, definitely way more compared to the first 3-4 weeks being gone. I took a few big steps to get to this point, like cutting a lot of contact with friends, putting away my gaming monitor, replacing my graphics card with an old one that can't run any games well. The last two may not seem like big steps, but for someone who considered themselves addicted to dumping time into games, it took some adjusting to. But its been almost a couple weeks since I made those changes, and I don't feel the urge to dump time into them anymore.
My friends I didn't talk to because I knew I would want to play games and lobby up with them, but I would never place blame or something like that of course, nothing to blame for anyways since it would be my decision.
Other than the occasional anime and youtube, that's what I've been up to recently and why. But let me tell you what I'm not going to do, and that's to tell you what I'm going to do next.
I slowly realized throughout posting on the blog that I talk a lot, talking in itself is fine, but when it's about something I'm going to do next and especially if I don't do it? That's just bs speak for "yeah, let me pretend I'm doing something by making and telling you my plans for what to do next", and I REALLY do not want to be that guy, and I thought I wasn't, but when it came to something that was difficult for me it was obvious that I was.
So, instead of pretending to make the blog interesting with "what I'm going to do next", I'll just post what I've done and talk about what I've done, if it's interesting it's interesting, if not it's not... uhh, starting now, was really feeling the irony.
For this post, I was overthinking what I wanted to practice on so I just started on some perspective with boxes and heads. Simple but hard to do properly, not really interesting but it is challenging, especially the boxes. The goal is to rotate them roughly 15 degrees in the same perspective orientation. Same thing with the head but 35 degrees or so.
But what about that illustration? What about those consistent target hours? What about that art goal? Those things aren't necessarily things I have done before, so a part of me has always been afraid to do them out of fear of doing it poorly (especially with illustration) or burning myself out. Burnout I've learned is a very real thing as I am going through it at the moment but something I will chug through.
What I have realized however is that, if I had the chance to try, and I didn't, it would hinder my growth a lot more than it would than doing something poorly/bad. Better to try and fail than not try at all, and that's what got me to start dream checking myself a lot more versus before, so hopefully that could help you as well.
No progress today. Well, maybe not no progress, but only a little compared to the last two days. I'll be real I haven't been really feeling anything lately, and no not in the depressed/need help sort of way. I've never thought of myself as depressed before, but recently I have this mental shift compared to last month where as I don't get excited or worried about anything. I'm just kind of going through the flow and taking it by stride, my brain is in a "don't care" sort of state right now, weird. I felt like it happened really suddenly.
But trust me I am doing good, just upset with myself for not focusing on my art more recently. Basically I'm just being undisciplined and lazy right now compared to the rest of the year. I'll tell myself that this is all part of the journey to becoming the artist I want to be, and maybe that thought alone will give me the motivation to discipline myself tomorrow, as it is too late for today. The problem is that I think that a lot people think just that, and end up lowering the bar for themself to compensate, so instead I'll double down tomorrow.
Whenever I don't feel like doing something, usually related to me progressing in my art, I say to myself, "If I cannot do X by Y, I will not become an artist". It's kinda like that meme where kids think to themselves if they don't past the leaf before it falls they will die, basically same thing. Now this might come off edgy or extreme to some people, but I say too bad because I have never once in my life failed what I call a dream check, I always follow up out of fear of losing that check.
The second half of this uhh... "essay", will be on tomorrow's post.
Blogger is not letting me post my image, so I'm going to post it tomorrow. I tried Chrome and Firefox, no dice. Edit: Ok, here's wha...
